susmaryosep!

'di maiwasang bulalas...

sa mga nakakairitang pagsumbat

ako na naman ang mali?

ako na naman ang may kasalanan?

sige na.. 

kung sa pag-sisi sa akin

dahil sa inyong kahinaan

ang makakapagpagaan ng kalooban

at sa paratang na ako ang dahilan

ng sakit na naranasan.

mapapakamot nalang sa ulo
sabay buntong hininga...

ganyan talaga...ano pa nga ba?

I come on my knees
To lay down before you
Bringing all that I am
Longing only to know you
Seeking your face
And not only your hand
I find you embracing me
Just as I am

And I lift these songs
To you and you alone
As I sing to you
In my praises make your home

To my audience of one
You are Father, and you are Son
As your spirit flows free,
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more
Has become my great reward
To see your kingdom come
And your will be done
I only desire to be yours,
Lord


So what could I bring
To honor your majesty
What song could I sing
That would move the heart of royalty
And all that I have
Is the life that you’ve given me
So Lord let me live for you
My song with humility


And Lord as the love song
Of my life is played
I have one desire
To bring glory to your name


To my audience of one
You are Father, and you are Son
As your spirit flows free,
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more
Has become my great reward
To see your kingdom come
And your will be done
I only desire to be yours,
Lord


And we lift these songs
To you and you alone
As we sing to you
In our praises make your home

To my audience of one
You are Father, and you are Son
As your spirit flows free,
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more
Has become my great reward
To see your kingdom come
And your will be done
I only desire to be yours,
Lord

Di ko na maalaala kung kailan basta sa lahat yata ng dream ko eh ito yung pinakamasakit...

   pero 'di naman masakit talaga...

      ang sakit nga lang huminga...

alam mo yun?

yung magigising ka sa sakit ng dibdib mo...

      sobrang sikip...

         sobrang sakit...

sige na nga... kwento ko nalang...

kakapikit ko palang, 3:17 am...

nakita ko ang sarili ko na nakaupo sa harap ng isang pintuan ng isang gusali...hindi ko nakita ang kabuuan ng gusali, basta nasa labas lang ako..tapos madilim sa harapan ko...may bangin... sa harap ko may hanging bridge...pero kalahating parte lang ang nakikita ko...hindi ko makita ung dulo sa sobrang dilim...pero sa gawing kanan ko may pinto din...at may nakatayong lalake na di ko maalala ang mukha...basta naka-uniporme siya...sundalo ata...pinipilit niya akong abutin para itawid sa kabilang bahagi ng bangin...sa harap niya...may hanging bridge din...at kita ko ang kapatagan sa kabilang dako...ngunit sa hindi maintindihang kadahilanan eh hindi ako makatayo...hindi ko maiabot sa kanya ang kamay ko...pakiramdam ko hinang-hina ang mga tuhod ko...

tapos bigla nalang...

nakita ko ang sarili ko na nasa loob na ng kuwarto ng pintung nasa likod ko...at sa loob ng kuwartong iyon ay may isang pinto papunta sa kuwarto ng pintuang nasa gawing kanan ko nung nasa labas ako at naka-upo...

hindi ko maintindihan....

      parang nakita ko ata lolo ko...

            o kamukha lang niya...

sabi niya..."nandiyan na ba sila?" (para bang may sumusundo sa kanya o sa amin)...

   ....hindi ko nga alam kung rehab ba o ospital ang kinalalagyan namin...

bigla...

   ...nasa labas na ako ng pinto...

ang daming taong nagnanais makatawid sa kabilang bahagi ang bangin pero magulo...di ko na makita ang dalawang hanging bridge...

bigla nalang lahat ng tao ay nagsitalon sa bangin...

at umapaw ang bangin ng katawan ng mga taong nagsitalon...

pero buhay sila...

mistula bang ang mga nasa ilalim ay nagtutulungan upang maiangat ung mga taong nasa ibabaw para makatawid sa kabila...

at nakita ko nalang ang sarili ko...na nasa kabilang bahagi na ng bangin...

wala na yung sundalong nagnanais magtawid sa akin....

magulo...lahat ng tao ay nagtatakbuhan...

may nagdatingang mga rescue team...

tulungan hanggang maiahon lahat ng tao...

pinagmasdam ko ang paligid...parang nasa base camp kami ng mga sundalo...alala ko... yung parang malaking gym...pinagdalhan sa mga taong na-rescue mula sa bangin...

pumasok ako sa loob...may hinahanap ako...

      at nakita ko siya...

      yung sundalong una kong nakita sa simula ng panaginip ko...

nakaupo...nakatingin sa kawalan...

sa tabi niya ay may isang lalaking parang nagbabantay sa kanya...

sa hindi ko maipaliwanag na pagkakataong iyon ay lumapit ako at umiiyak na niyakap siya...sambit ang mga katagang..."i thought i lost you"...

anak ng...!

      pambihira!

      napa-ingles pa!

pero ang gulo talaga!

pano ba naman eh...nalaman ko na bulag siya!!!!

tapos may isang lalaking naka-uniporme ang lumapit sa amin...at inakay siya...para bang alam  na niya ang gagawin sa kanya...kumalas siya sa pagkaka-yakap niya sa akin...wala akong nagawa kundi pagmasdan sila ng lalaking umaakay sa kanya papalayo papunta sa helicopter na nag-aabang sa labas ng gym...

...at kahit na medyo madilim...at abot tanaw ko nalang siya...nakita ko nung bumigkas siya ng mga kataga...na parang bang kay lakas kahit binigkas niya lang ng pabulong...sa pagkakataong iyon alam ko...ako na lang ang nanduon...nakatanaw sa kanya...sa gitna ng gabing maulan...umiiyak... 

narinig ko ang ang mga katagang kanyang binitiwan kasabay ng pagpatak ng luha at ulan... "i'll come back for you."

pambihira talaga!

sino ba may gawa nung script at ingles pa!

sabay napabalikwas na lang ako sa pagbangon mula sa aking kama dahil sa tindi ng sakit ng dibdib ko...

                        3:47am palang ah!

di talaga ako makahinga...

hindi ko tuloy alam kung dahil ba sa bigat ng drama nung panaginip ko...

o dahil maski sa panaginip di ko aakalaing...

mapapa-Ingles ako!

o, wag niyo nang pangaraping i-interpret ito ha...dahil ginawa na ni sosoy... wala lang ako mailagay na bago kaya napakuwento ako...

please let me know what you think of me

this is cool

http://kevan.org/johari?name=latesummer

You're blue! 

The most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you ? they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue ? and patently you!

You live inside a dream
Everything tastes so sweet
As long as it agrees with how you feel
You're dancing in your sleep
'Til all the eyes that look at me
awaken your anxieties

You're so afraid, so you try to break me, yeah

I don't want to care
And I don't want to hate
And I don't want to see you fall too far away
All because of fear
'Cause when you're afraid
You lash out at me
When you say all the things that you never meant to say
And try to break me

But in the end, what leaves you broken
In the end, makes you better, yeah

Your face looks so green
When the sun is shining differently
And you're standing in the shade
'Cause face to face you're sweet
Like candy sticking to my teeth
But underneath so damaging

There is no strength in trying to break me, no

I don't want to care
And I don't want to hate
And I don't want to see you fall too far away
All because of fear
'Cause when you're afraid
You lash out at me
When you say all the things that you never meant to say
And try to break me

But in the end, what leaves you broken
in the end, makes you better

Yeah, I don't want to hate
I don't want to be broken
I don't want to hate you
I don't want to hate
I don't want to be broken
I don't want to hate you

I don't want to care
and I don't want to hate
and I don't want to see you fall too far away
All because of fear
'Cause when you're afraid
you lash out at me
When you say all the things that you never meant to say
and try to break me

But in the end, what leaves you broken
In the end, makes you better, Yeah

Current Lyrics
You live inside a dream
everything taste so sweetAs long as it agrees with how you feel
Your danceing in your sleep
to all the eyes that look at me
are working your angzieties

Your so afraid, so you try to break me

I dont want to care
and I dont want to hate
And I dont want to see you fall to far away
All because of fear.
Cause when your afraid
you lash out at me
and you say all the things that you never ment to say
and try to break me

But in the end what leaves you broken
in the end it makes you better

Your face it looks so green
when the sun is shineing diffrently
and your standing in the shade
cause face to face your so sweet
like candy sticking to my teeth
but underneeth so damageing

Theres no strength in trying to break me

I dont want to care
and I dont want to hate
And I dont want to see you fall to far away
All because of fear.
Cause when your afraid
you lash out at me
and you say all the things that you never ment to say
and try to break me

But in the end what leaves you broken
in the end it makes you better

>plumb

He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn't play for the money he wins
He doesn't play for the respect
He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape, the shape of my heart

And if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who smile are lost

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape of my heart

from the Ten Summoner's Tales

alien yan eh!

maraming bagay ang nagpapasaya sa akin sa tuwing umuulan....

ngunit sa pagkakataong ito...ay hindi ko mahagilap kung saang dako sa aking katauhan nagkubli ang magagandang bagay na iyon...alam ko...pero hindi ko maramdaman.

bagkus ay hindi ko maiwasang pagtampisaw sa sakit at luha dulot ng pagkawala ng isang minamahal....

na ang tanging naisin... 
                                       ay ang ulan...

hindi ko lubos maisip na sa isang iglap ay mawawala ang isang nilalang na ang tanging naisin lang ay ang pangalagaan ang lupang sa kanya'y biyayang inilaan...

batid ko sa aking puso na ang lahat ay may dahilan...

sa mga panahong ito lang ang nangingibabaw...

ninais niya ang ulan...
                                 at ito'y dumating...

         hindi upang mamasdan ang pagpatak nito sa lupang kanyang minahal at buong buhay na inalagaan...

ninais niya ang ulan...
                                at ito'y dumating...

                                                                                                  ...sa kanyang libing...

sa alala ng aking pinakamamahal na tiyo andres